Saturday, September 09, 2006


You kiss your mother with that mouth?

"You kiss your mother with that mouth?"
"She's a fuckin bitch...yeah,you!" she shouts at her mother who she has just ordered to iron her a jacket before she will come to the police station to answer questions about the stolen car her DNA was found in and then the house she burgled.

In any other place other than this shit-hole, this girl would be mint. She is 17. Bad, I mean really bad attitude. She hates the world. I chuckle to myself thinking that she is acting like the archetypal teenager, like Kevin and Perry.

But that chuckle soon fades away when I realise that this girl is fuckin hateful. She bellows at her mother, who incidentally I was hoping would come and be the appropriate adult. She tells her mom to 'get the fuck out of my way' as she slams past her to the bathroom upstairs. I can see the mother physically shaking. I begin to feel sorry for the mom because it is clear that this girl picks on her mom and her mom looks demoralised and bullied. The 17-year-old rules the roost.

"you look lovely can we go because we have now got to call social services for an adult for you because you upset your mom"
"do I look like I give a fuck? I'm putting some make-up way I'm coming to the station looking this bad"
"yeah because you might bump into a good-looking crack head or nonce down the cell block..come on please?"
" a minute! fuckin fucker.."

Long pieces of blond hair were coming away from between my fingers as I forced this mouthy piece of shit down her stairs. Her cheeks became bright red as the shock set in that yes, that friendly copper has just grabbed me, dragged me out of the bathroom, forced me down the stairs and bundled me out of my moms house in front of all the neighbours in the street, held me against the car and handcuffed me to the rear.

The line was drawn. I was polite, friendly and approachable but the foul mouth didn't know when to stop. That's the problem with teenagers, they never quite know when to shut the fuck up. This was part of her learning curve. Fuck with the old bill a bit, but don't step over the line. Lesson one.

Long blond hair, pretty face, lovely blue eyes. A great body and lovely white teeth. Perfect to some. But when this girl opened her mouth it was awful. We had lost this one, there was no going back. I wondered what she would be like if she was stranded on a desert island for a couple of years with some articulate, intelligent people? Would she return to civilisation pronouncing her words properly and forgetting to swear? Would she have grace and enjoy her femininity? Would she smile?

Or would she scowl,hiss and swear at me like she was doing when I looked at her in the rear view mirror on the way to the cell block at the nick.

"...anything you do say may be given in evidence. I'm going to tell you the caution in more simple terms now..."

"I'm not fucking thick, just get on with it you boring fucking boring fucker. Bore off..."
"please tell me why the stolen car that you say you have never been in or touched, but you did say that you walked past it in a road and then when you didn't see anyone in it you carried on...has your blood inside it on the front passenger seat and a beer can in the drivers door pocket with your DNA on it?..."
"I dunno. I never went in the car."
" hmmm. really...."
"...please tell me why later the same night, your blood was found at the point of entry of the scene of a burglary at..."
"I dunno. I told you I was with a mate who I don't want to tell you about cos' her mom will kill her if she finds out..."
"I cannot flower this up any other way Jade, other than to say you are a stupid idiot of a liar and I hope you go to prison"
"what the f.."
"officer, I must object to your personal comments with regard to my client!"
"you can object until you're blue in the face Mr Pencil-head, I'm right and you know it. I take it from your silence that you agree. good. I'm finishing this interview now."

Not exactly straight out of the "How to finish the interview" section of the 'Guide to advanced Interviewing' but hey, what the fuck, I'm a boundary-pusher.

Bang. Have some charges you foolish little bitch. And no. I won't give you a lift home. Get some respect first. Lesson two.

Lesson three comes later. Lesson three comes to me. Detective Constable General. Lesson three is when the magistrates give her a community punishment order of 40 hours. Lesson three is the sucker punch for me spending the time on this investigation and the anticipated not guilty file for this poxy fuckin outcome of a decision.

I'm not very happy. In fact, I'm so not happy I'm going out to get shitfaced.

you comin? My round...

Sad isn't it. If junior scumbags like this actually got a decent sentence early on it might set them straight.

Instead their contempt for the law is reinforced time after time.

Hope the heads not too bad today.
It's about time we put parental rights on a par with children's rights. There's no hope for this young girl if her mother is too frightened to stand up to her and instil a bit of discipline and respect.

Keep up the good work General, some of us civvies appreciate it!!
I'd buy you a drink anytime of the day, or night.
As for the previous comments, there isn't much I can do except sit here nodding my head in agreement.
Depressing, truely depressing. The fact that is girl has gone seriously off the rails is sad, the fact that you have clear DNA evidence and an open and shut case and 40 hours lounging around looking po faced is all that she gets is pathetic.

The worst bit for me is that this must be totally demoralising for police officers who can rightly ask whats the point? why do the paperwork why bother trying to straigten these kids out when they get no real punishment for their crime.

All I can say is that there are many who wish you had the power to really deal with criminals. Please keep up the good work, nick bad guys, avoid paperwork and always ignore the PC crap that seems to be rained down on everyone.
Wouldn't it be great to start a shift one day, with the Sgt saying 'This is our new PC on the shift, Judge Dredd'.

Wouldn't it be great to have a right go at solicitor's during an interview and ask them why they continually get the piece of shit they are defending to 'No Reply' every interview they do.
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